what if

whenever a "what if" question pops into my head, I try to ignore it. I think about it for a second & then talk myself out of whatever I was thinking about because answering the question comes with risk. & before we start let me get this straight, i'm not talking about stupid stuff like what's going to happen if I jump off this bridge?? no no, please don't do that!! I'm talking about the kind that we probably should do, but we don't. 

 The thought of not knowing what's going to happen absolutely terrifies me. I like to know the answers. I like to know the plan. I simply just like "normal" & most of the time, the answers to "what if??" are out of my "normal" and that doesn't settle well with me.

I can think of a lot of "what if" questions that I don't want to know the answer to.

what if my dad loses his job again?

what if my family gets in a bad car accident?

what if someone I love gets sick?

I don't want to know the answer to any of these. But there are 2 kinds of "what if's" in life- the kind you have absolutely no control over & the kind that it's all on you.

The ones that we have no control over we, need to let go of. Worrying doesn't change the outcome of anything. So for my planner obsessed, control freak friends out there- we just need to breath. When we were born, Jesus didn't give us a book perfectly in order with numbered pages and no tears or bends labeled with your name on it. Wouldn't that be nice!! Instead he gave us a book that's out of order with scrambled up words. But that's okay because when we finally finish the book, it will be wayyy better than we ever thought it could be. filled with so much more adventure and excitement than any perfectly organized chapter book could ever give you. The moment I finally accepted the unexpected is when the weight of stress & worry were not as heavy on my shoulders.

Now as for the "what ifs" that we have control of, that's a different story. When I get to the end of this crazy life, I do not want to be saying 

what if what if I looked up from my phone a little more often?

what if I didn't care about being "too nice" because I don't want to be thought of as naive?

what if I learned to love every situation life has to offer?

what if I gave someone a genuine compliment everyday?

what if I listened to all the little nudges at my heart of God telling me to do things?

what if I stopped listening to the harsh words & lies of the devil and filled myself with the unchanging truth of the gospel?

what if I had the guts to forgive people that are so-called "unforgivable"?

what if I didn't automatically think the worst of people?

what if I stopped living in fear of failure & just lived?

what if I sat and listened to someones story instead of it always being "me me me"?

what if I stopped hating people just because they did or said one thing to offend me?

what if I just took a minute to stand in awe of God's glory in the midst of chaos?

these are not questions I want to be floating in my head when it's all said and done. I want to be living the life filled with answers to all of these questions- not wondering what if. I don't want to just sit back and wonder anymore, I want to know. I can only imagine what our world would be like if we found answers to our "what if" questions by living them out. so what do ya say will you stop wondering with me & go out and find some answers?

lots of love, j